“Is Friendship the Foundation of Forever?” Navigating Love and Loneliness after 40

Hey there, beautiful souls! Today, I’m peeling back the layers and letting you in on a little secret: I’m a head-in-the-clouds romantic. Yep, that’s me! I dream of love so deep, so intense, that it takes my breath away. After five years of being single and four years of celibacy, I’m finally feeling that familiar pull, the desire to find my forever person.

I believe I was designed to be a wife. But here’s where it gets interesting. Meeting men isn’t the issue. Not at all, the challenge comes when I tell them I want to build a friendship first, to truly know each other before jumping into something serious. And just like that, poof—ghosted like Halloween! It’s like the idea of friendship before romance has become some kind of crazy concept, especially in midlife.

So, let’s talk about it. Let’s explore why I believe in starting with friendship, why I think it’s not only worth it but essential, and maybe, just maybe, inspire a bigger conversation about love, connection, and finding that deep, soul-stirring romance we all crave.

Why I Want Friendship First: A Different Kind of Love Story

Here’s the thing, I’m not looking for just any kind of love—I’m looking for a love that’s built to last. A love where I can be his queen and he – my king. I want to cater to him as he pours into me.

Picture this: me doing his laundry with a smile, getting him ready for his day, cooking meals with love, and serving him right where he sits – OR – Vici-Versa. I want those moments where we wash each other’s backs, sharing the most intimate, quiet moments—feeling completely seen and loved.

I’ve tasted this kind of love before, many years ago, but I let it slip away. Now, I find myself longing for that feeling again. I’m tearing up just thinking about it because, honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll ever find it. But that won’t stop me from praying, from manifesting the deep, mutual, nurturing love I know I deserve.

This deep passion for romance is where my “Graffiti Love Diaries” series comes from—a collection of steamy, heartfelt flash fiction romances that capture the intensity, the yearning, and the beauty of true connection. These stories are filled with the kind of love I’m dreaming of, and if you’re a romantic like me, I invite you to check them out here.

Is Friendship Outdated in Midlife Romance?

But let’s get real here. Every time I mention wanting to be friends first, it’s like a giant neon “Ghost Me” sign lights up. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like people think there’s no time for friendship anymore? That at our age, we should just dive headfirst into love?

I get it. We’re not in our twenties anymore, where there seemed to be endless time to figure it all out. We’re in this beautiful, complex stage of life where time feels precious. But does that mean we should rush past the part where we actually get to know each other as people first? I don’t think so. I want to build a foundation, to create a friendship that blooms into a love story that stands the test of time.

Why Six Months to a Year of Friendship is Worth It

Here’s my take: Six months to a year of friendship before diving into romance is like giving a seed the right soil, sunlight, and water it needs to grow into a strong, beautiful tree. I believe it will only make things stronger in the end. When you start with friendship, you get to see each other in all seasons—through the ups and downs, the ordinary days, and the extraordinary moments.

You learn how this person deals with life, with challenges, and with joy. You discover if they have the capacity to love in the way you need to be loved. You see how they show up for others, how they handle conflict, and how they treat the people they care about. Friendship allows you to see them, not just in the polished moments, but in the raw, real moments too.

And isn’t that what true love is built on? The kind where, years from now, you’re still holding hands, still laughing at the same jokes, still looking at each other like you did on that very first date?

Is There No Time for Friendship? A Call to My Readers

But I want to know your thoughts. Have you experienced this? Do you feel like at this stage in life, there’s no time for friendship, that we should just dive into the deep end? Or do you see the value in slowing things down and building a strong foundation first?

I think there’s a beauty in taking our time, in savoring the moments that lead up to something truly meaningful. I want to believe that by nurturing a friendship first, we can create something far more lasting and profound.

To the Future King Who Might Be Reading This…

To the man who might be reading this, the one who’s looking for his queen: Know that I am ready for you. I’m ready to be by your side, to support you, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to share all of life’s moments—big and small. I want to create a partnership where we both pour into each other, where we celebrate each other’s victories, and hold each other up through the challenges.

I want to love you so deeply that words can’t even express it. I want to feel your heartbeat next to mine and know that this is where I am meant to be. I want to be the one who prays for you, who stands by you, who cheers you on as you chase your dreams. I want to build a life with you that feels like a beautiful, endless adventure.

Conclusion: A New Approach to Love in Midlife

So, here I am, pouring my heart out, hoping this reaches someone who feels the same. I know it’s not always easy to keep believing in love, especially after heartbreaks and letdowns. But I believe in taking the time to build something real, something lasting, something worth all the moments of doubt and loneliness.

I hope this post opens up a new conversation about how we approach love at this stage in life. I hope it inspires you to think about what you truly want, to not be afraid to say it out loud, and to know that it’s okay to take your time to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Share Your Journey

I’d love to hear from you. Have you felt this longing for deep, soul-stirring love? Have you faced similar challenges in finding it? Let’s talk about it. Share your story in the comments, send me a message, or just say hi. Let’s create a space where we can navigate this journey together.

Keep Dreaming, Keep Believing

So, my fellow dreamers, keep your heads in the clouds, keep believing in love, and keep manifesting the magic you deserve. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll find that friendship truly is the foundation of forever.

Until then, I’ll be here snacking on popcorn and binge-watching all the romantic, classic melodramas like it’s my job.

See you next time!

xo,

Rain Rose